Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers,
a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to 
himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the 
front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts. The 
driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was 
doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know 
that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other 

"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the
speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 
"22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car 
OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!"

The METHODISTS gathered in a corner and prayed.
The BAPTISTS cried, "Where is the water?"
The LUTHERANS posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.
The CATHOLICS passed the plate to cover the damage.
The JEWS posted symbols on the doors hoping the fire would pass.
The CONGREGATIONALISTS shouted, "Every man for himself."
The FUNDAMENTALISTS proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God."
The CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST concluded there was no fire.
The PRESBYTERIANS appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report as to whether the fire was predestined to ignite.

The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.

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